$300 “Where’s Castro?” photo shop contest

Castro as Waldo

*** Scroll down for updates ***
*** Bonus points for adding a Lebanon angle! ***

Fidel Castro’s been under the radar lately. Nobody’s seen or heard from him since he went in for surgery. Now the official word down in Havana is that everything’s just fine with El Commandante, but rumors keep circulating that the sneaky old bugger’s not at home.
Where is he? That’s where you come in, my dear pseudo-paparazzo.
Apply your creativity to come up with Fake-But-Accurate™ photographic proof of Fidel’s current location, and you could win fabulous prizes! Vacations! Cruises! Cuban cigars! Universal health care! Rusting 1950s-vintage sedans with huge tailfins!
Well, not really. But I will send the top three entrants Amazon.com gift certificates in the following amounts:

First Place: Second Place: Third Place:
150 bucks 100 bucks 50 bucks
T-shirt with this logo:
Che: still dead
Courtesy of Babalu Blog
T-shirt with this logo:
Che: still dead
Courtesy of Babalu Blog
T-shirt with this logo:
Che: still dead
Courtesy of Babalu Blog

You’ll be judged on a combination of creativity, photo shopping skill, and humor. As for how each element is weighted … who knows? It’s completely up to the judges! (I never said this’d be a professionally-run contest!) Their decisions are final.
The judges are: The Puddle Pirate (me), Val Prieto, Kevin Aylward, and Michelle Malkin.
To submit your entry, either post it on your blog and leave a trackback here on this post, or e-mail your entry to photoshop@brainshavings.com. The contest starts now and ends on Saturday, August 12th at 11:59 PM Eastern Daylight Time.
Update: This contest has been shamelessly plugged at Outside The Beltway and Argghhh! You want photo fakery? Watch this space.
Update: Bonus points if you can place Castro somewhere in the middle of the furious photoshopping fighting in Lebanon!
Update: Since my blog was defaced for 3 days, I’m extending the contest until Wednesday night, 11:59 PM.

Entries:


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Is the “Dear Leader” Il?

Something fishy’s going on in North Korea. Kim Jong Il hasn’t been seen in some time, supposedly because he’s in mourning over the death of his favorite concubine. Reports indicate that the cult of personality around Kim and his father may be eroding, and it’s certainly odd that portraits of the “Dear Leader” are reportedly coming down from very prominent places. Anti-Kim leaflets have reportedly been popping up in inconvenient places. Japanese politicians, who normally limit statements about their nutty neighbor to vague nothings, have begun to mention the possibility that change is in the air. The last Stalinist regime on earth might be quietly undergoing major internal power struggles.
Some speculate that a coup’s in the offing, spurred by China at America’s request (in return for a major concession in our Taiwan policy). I remain skeptical, so I’ll keep watching to see what else shakes loose. Let me know if you spot something pertinent.
On a related note, the demise of the nuclear bunker buster bomb project will figure prominently in the geopolitical calculations of our adversaries, especially in Iran and North Korea.

American crimes in Iraq

Alas, the quagmire that is Iraq threatens to swallow arrogant America whole. Woe is us. We’re doomed … doomed, I say!
Happy to hear a Western kufr who’s sorry about his government’s foolish adventure in a sovreign country overseas? Rejoice, noble warriors. Now that you’re here, my dear Yahoo and Google searchers from the Middle East and Europe (yes I noticed the spike), let’s look at what’s going on in Iraq.
First, Margaret Hassan. This British interloper claimed to be an aid worker for a charity, and claimed to be a Muslim. But everyone knows she was really a spy for the Mossad, the evil organization responsible for the September 11th attacks, Yasser Arafat’s poisoning, and itchy wool sweaters (damned jooooooos). Margaret Hassan got what was coming to her. Praise be to Allah, here’s the video.
An American correspondent captured footage of a U.S. Marine shooting someone in a mosque, which is now being broadcast all over the Arab media. What possible reason could there be for shooting a motionless man lying on the ground? Here’s the video of the Marine committing unjustified murder, my Middle Eastern friends. Watch it and seethe.
There’s also news that the U.S. Marine Corps has re-opened its investigation into the disappearance of Wassef Ali Hassoun, the Marine of Lebanese descent who disappeared earlier this year and appeared in a hostage video, only to return to his unit unharmed. Why a renewed investigation? Some of his personal effects, including his passport and identification card, turned up in Fallujah. Maybe he’s a mujahideen in secret? We dhimmis-in-waiting can only hope.
Now, as news finally begins to get past the oppressive John Ashcroft and his Crusaders in the Zionist American Government, we see that the poor residents of Fallujah hate their American oppressors. But then, I’m not surprised, since the mujahideen who ruled Fallujah had made such bold steps toward reestablishing the caliphate. Anybody would be upset to lose such enlightened leaders.
It’s now more clear than ever that America should have trusted the United Nations to administer international relations with Iraq. After all, France has been such a wonderful example of multilateral nuance … we could learn so much from them.
Onward Muslim soldiers! Celebrate your impending victory by watching this raw footage of your jihad’s success.