Impeachapalooza 2005

Soon, the 109th Congress will convene for its first session. This time around the Democrats have lost even more seats, and if there’s one thing that ticks off a Democrat politician it’s losing power. Worse yet, they still seem to think that their message of wacko leftism just didn’t get through to the voting public, and that President Bush and the Republicans somehow stole the election.
Democrat outrage is nothing if not predictable, and it’s no great stretch to expect petty little snit fits on the floor of Congress once it’s back in session. Come to think of it, can calls for impeaching the president be far away? I think not. Which can mean only one thing.
It’s contest time!
Be the first to predict the Democrats’ calls for political vengeance against President Bush, and you can win expensive and gaudy prizes. That is, if you define “expensive and gaudy” as “affordable by the amateur blogger running this site.” Here are the categories and prizes:

  1. Date of first call for President Bush’s impeachment: _________ (Prize: a Blogshares portfolio consisting of 5,000 shares of Brain Shavings and 5000 shares of The Buckeye Bloggers)
    Bonus — Representative making that first call: _________ (Prize: $10 Amazon.com gift certificate)
  2. Date of first article of impeachment referred to House Judiciary Committee: _________ (Prize: a copy of Blog, by Hugh Hewitt)
    Bonus — First sponsor of this article: _________ (Prize: $50 Amazon.com gift certificate)
  3. Date of first article of impeachment to get a House Judiciary Committee vote: _________ (Prize: a copy of Right Turns, by Michael Medved)
    Bonus — First sponsor of this article: _________ (Prize: $50 Amazon.com gift certificate)
    Bonus — Committee vote tally (yea/nay): _____/_____ (Prize: $50 Amazon.com gift certificate)
    Bonus — Number of Republicans voting “yea” (non-zero guesses only): _____ (Prize: $50 Amazon.com gift certificate)
  4. Date of first article of impeachment to reach House floor: _________ (Prize: a copy of Scalia Dissents, by Kevin A. Ring)
    Bonus — First sponsor of this article: _________ (Prize: $75 Amazon.com gift certificate)
    Bonus — House vote tally (yea/nay): _____/_____ (Prize: $100 Amazon.com gift certificate)
    Bonus — Number of Republicans voting “yea” (non-zero guesses only): _____ (Prize: $100 Amazon.com gift certificate)

Contest Rules:

  1. E-mail your entries to contest -at- brainshavings -dot- com, with your name, your blog’s name and URL, and your predictions.
  2. The contest starts when President Bush completes his Oath of Office during the Inauguration on January 20th, 2005. It will run for the duration of the first session of the 109th Congress, as recorded in the legislative calendar published online by the U.S. House of Representatives. To be valid, an entry must hit my inbox before President Bush says “so help me God” during his Inauguration, so get crackin’.
  3. You need not make a pick in every category to compete.
  4. You can change your entry at any time until the contest begins.
  5. To enter, you’ve got to be a blogger (which makes the contestant pool more manageable, which helps reduce the risk to my wallet).
  6. To win, you need only predict the date on which a given event (see list above) will occur. The person who chooses a date closest to the actual date of the event wins, provided your chosen date hasn’t passed. In other words, if the first call for impeachment occurs on January 30th, and you picked January 31st, you win if nobody else picked January 30th or 31st. If you picked January 29th, tough luck.
  7. The person calling for impeachment or sponsoring an article of impeachment must do so after the inauguration and must be a U.S. Representative holding office during the first session of the 109th Congress at the time the specified event occurs.
  8. Dates of events will be the dates as recorded in the Congressional Record.
  9. If more than one contestant makes a winning pick, then the winner is the contestant whose entry arrived in my inbox first.
  10. If your entry wins in any category, there are bonus prizes available to make things even more interesting for you. There’s no wiggle room on these; you have to pick ’em exactly to win. Further, to be eligible for these bonuses, you’ve got to win the main prize first. You aren’t required to try for the bonuses to enter the contest, but there’s no downside to ’em so you might as well try.
  11. When your URL or e-mail changes, it is up to you to notify me of the change(s). If you fail to notify me, I may decide to deny your prize claim, completely at my discretion.
  12. If your pick wins, and you don’t notify me within one week of the specified event’s occurance, I may decide to deny your prize claim, completely at my discretion.
  13. All disputes will be resolved by me, without appeal. If you threaten legal action, you’ll forfeit all prizes … and then I’ll laugh at you.
  14. If you forfeit a prize for any reason, then the prize goes to the next-closest eligible entry. Any ties will be resolved in the manner described in Rule 9.
  15. I reserve the right to edit these rules. I’m a fair-minded guy, so I won’t make huge changes just to be a jerk; more likely, I’ll spot a loophole and close it. I’ll do my best to limit the tweaking to the time period between now and the start of the contest. If a change upsets you, feel free to withdraw from the contest.

There ya go. Have at it.

UPDATE: I’ve upped the prizes and loosened the blogger rule.

10 comments

  1. Pat in NC

    I hope I am not breaking your rules if I politely request your post not go across the entire page. My old eyes find it difficult to read when superimposed on your two other columns.
    Happy new year!

  2. deadscot

    I do find it humorous that republicans can call for and achieve an impeachment of a democratic president for relatively minor offenses but it’s whining if a democrat seeks to challenge the administration’s entry into an unprovoked war.
    Of course there is going to be a lot of bickering on the house floor this session. There’s an awful lot to be disgruntled about.

  3. Chet

    I do find it humorous that republicans can call for and achieve an impeachment of a democratic president for relatively minor offenses but it’s whining if a democrat seeks to challenge the administration’s entry into an unprovoked war.
    Makes perfect sense to me. Anyone can see that getting a blowjob in the Oval Office is far, far worse than a hasty rush to a needless war on false pretenses. Right?

  4. Duncan

    The difficult part is that you won’t understand how this recent celebration of ignorance will be noted as the beginning. If anything, this gives me clear perspective of how once great empires demise….arrogance.
    I just need to be prepared for being blamed for this demise. Because if I have learned anything, Republicans never take responsibility for their actions…..accept Colin Powell.

  5. Puddle Pirate

    The difficult part is that you won’t understand how this recent celebration of ignorance will be noted as the beginning. If anything, this gives me clear perspective of how once great empires demise….arrogance.

     

  6. “Recent celebration of ignorance”? Meaning the election?
  7. The word you want is a verb like “decline” or “die”, not a noun like “demise.”
  8. Which empires died from arrogance?
  9. Since when has America ever been an empire?
  10.  

    I just need to be prepared for being blamed for this demise. Because if I have learned anything, Republicans never take responsibility for their actions…..accept Colin Powell.

     

  11. Blamed by whom?
  12. That’s the correct use of “demise” … bravo.
  13. Do you really mean “never”? Do Democrats always take responsibility for their actions? Does any human anywhere always or never take responsibility for their actions?
  14. “Except”, not “accept.”
  15.