The First Terrorist Olympiad

The Alliance wonders “What events will be featured in the Terrorist Olympics?” My predictions for a few events we might see:

  • Synchronized Car Swarming
  • Circular Firing Squad
  • Ululation Marathon
  • 400 Meter Wife Beating Relay
  • Molotov Cocktail Shotput
  • Jihadi Biathlon (5 km tunnel crawl & suicide pizzeria attack)
  • 100 Meter Hellfire Missile Evasion
  • Bomb Vest Powerlifting
  • Bulldozer Diving
  • Foot Marksmanship

2 comments

  1. GI

    I get this mental image of the Palestinian Hockey teams’ last player … just two skates, presumably a pair … once …, careening down the ice, sans body. Ah yes, the remote controlled high-explosive hockey puck, checks always result in at least two deaths, sudden death overtime REALLY IS sudden death … and … the loser ALWAYS has to play the Palestinians.
    It’s hard to beat the previously listed ‘circular firing squad’ … but, the ‘jihaad biathlon’ must necessarily include ‘firing random shots into the crowd’ for extra points.
    … and who could forget those intrepid suicide bomber jihaadists parachuting into the crowd during opening ceremonies … not to mention detonating the entire Olympic Village for the Terror Olympic Up Close and Personal competition.

  2. The Alliance

    Precision Guided Humor Round-up: Terrorist Olympics

    Somewhere in a desert land Islamists frolic, hand in hand Trying hard to Allah please Asshairs full of camel fleas See them jump and see them run Games they play in burning sun Alliance members sneer and spit At Terr-O-lympics